Beyond K-Dramas: 5 Surprising Rules of Korean Dating Culture You Need to Know
So, you’ve watched Business Proposal or True Beauty, and you think you have a handle on dating in Korea. You’re expecting slow-motion accidental hugs, wrist grabs, and a handsome CEO waiting for you in the rain.
While K-Dramas are great entertainment, the real Korean dating scene is a little different. It is faster, more intense, and comes with a unique set of unwritten rules that can leave foreigners feeling confused.
In the West, dating can be casual and undefined for months. In Korea? It’s a high-speed train. Whether you are planning to date in Seoul or just curious about the culture, here is the lowdown on what makes Korean dating culture so unique.
1. The “Some” Phase (Sseom)
Before you are dating, you are in a “Some.” Derived from the English word “Something,” Sseom (썸) describes that ambiguous stage where you aren’t officially a couple, but there is definitely chemistry. You are texting all day and going on dates, but you haven’t put a label on it yet.
The Catch: In Korea, this phase is short. If you stay in the “Some” phase for more than a month without asking “Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?”, the other person will likely assume you aren’t interested and move on. The “What are we?” talk happens much faster here!
2. The Obsession with Communication (KakaoTalk is Life)
In many Western countries, texting someone 24/7 might be seen as “clingy” or desperate. In Korea, it is the bare minimum requirement for love. Couples are expected to stay in constant contact via KakaoTalk. “Good morning,” “I’m eating lunch,” “I’m getting on the bus,” “Good night.” If you disappear for a few hours without an update, your Korean partner might think you are angry or, worse, cheating. The speed of the reply equals the level of affection.
3. The 100-Day Anniversary (Not 1 Year!)
Forget waiting a whole year to celebrate. In Korea, the first major relationship milestone is 100 days. This tradition likely stems from old Korean culture where surviving the first 100 days of life (as a baby) was a celebration of survival. In dating, making it to 100 days means your relationship is “real.” Couples often exchange couple rings (which look like wedding bands!) or go on a romantic date. If you date a Korean, set a reminder on your phone, or you’ll be in big trouble!
4. Couple Looks (Matching Everything)
Walk around Hongdae or Gangnam on a Saturday, and you will see them: couples dressed exactly alike. While Westerners might cringe at matching outfits, the “Couple Look” is a massive trend in Korea. It’s a public declaration that “We belong together.” It might start small with matching phone cases or sneakers, but it often escalates to identical hoodies, coats, or even pajamas. It’s a way of showing off your relationship status to the world.
5. How People Meet: The “Sogeting”
While apps like Tinder and Bumble are growing in popularity, the most trusted way to meet people is still the Sogeting (Blind Date). This isn’t a scary blind date with a total stranger. It’s usually set up by a mutual friend who vouches for both parties. The friend acts as a matchmaker. It is seen as safer and more serious than meeting someone at a club or on an app. If you have Korean friends, don’t be surprised if they offer to set you up on a Sogeting!
Final Thoughts
Korean dating culture is intense, visual, and fast-paced. It prioritizes constant connection and public displays of commitment. It might feel overwhelming at first, but for those who love romance, it’s a culture that truly celebrates being in love.