Is He Just Nice or Is It “Sseom”? 5 Dead Giveaway Signs a Korean Man Likes You
So, you’ve met a Korean guy. He’s charming, he dresses well (maybe better than you?), and he bought you an Iced Americano.
But now you are stuck in that agonizing limbo. Is he just being a polite “Korean gentleman”? Is he just looking for a language exchange partner? Or is he actually into you?
As a Korean, I can tell you that our dating signals can be… confusing. We don’t always say “I like you” straight away. We act it out. We have a specific pre-dating phase called “Sseom” (Some), where we test the waters.
If you are trying to decode his behavior, stop guessing. Here are the 5 undeniable signs that a Korean man is definitely crushing on you.
1. The “Have You Eaten?” Check-in (It’s Not About Food)
If a Western guy asks, “Did you eat?”, he probably wants to know if you are hungry. If a Korean guy asks, “Bap meogeosseo?” (Did you eat?), he is saying “I care about your well-being.” In Korea, food is love. If he texts you at meal times specifically to check if you’ve fed yourself, or sends you photos of his lunch asking what you are having, he is mentally clocking into your schedule. He is making sure you are surviving. It is the ultimate sign of affection.
2. The KakaoTalk “Speed Reply”
I cannot stress this enough: In Korea, Speed = Interest. We are glued to our phones. If a Korean guy likes you, he will not play the “wait 3 hours to seem cool” game. He will reply instantly. If you are waking up to “Good morning” texts and going to sleep with “Good night” texts, you are in. If he keeps the conversation going with cute emoticons (especially the shy Ryan or Apeach characters) even when there is nothing to say, he is definitely interested. Silence is the only rejection you need to worry about.
3. The MBTI Interrogation
This is the modern Korean love language. If he asks, “What is your MBTI?” on the first or second meeting, pay attention. In 2025 Korea, we are obsessed with personality compatibility. He wants to know if your “ENFP” matches his “ISTJ.” He is literally calculating your future relationship potential in his head. If he remembers your type and sends you memes about it later? He is doing his homework on you.
4. He Becomes Your Personal Sherpa (Bag Carrying)
You might think you are strong enough to carry your own purse. He thinks otherwise. It is a reflex for interested Korean men to carry things for the woman they like. If you are shopping and he instinctively reaches for your shopping bags—or even your small handbag—let him. It’s not because he thinks you are weak; it’s an act of service. It’s his way of telling the world (and other men), “I am taking care of her.”
5. The “Weekend” Reservation
Korean life is busy. Weekdays are for surviving work and school. Weekends are sacred. If he asks to see you on a Saturday night, that is prime real estate. If he only wants to meet for a quick coffee on a Tuesday afternoon, you might just be a friend. But if he plans a Saturday dinner followed by a cafe and a walk at the Han River? He is investing his most valuable time in you. That is a date, whether he calls it one or not.
Final Thoughts Korean men aren’t usually subtle when they really like someone. They invest time, money, and a lot of battery life (texting) into the person they want. So, if he’s asking about your lunch, carrying your bag, and replying to your texts within 30 seconds… congratulations! You are definitely in a “Sseom.”